Jesus is My Prozac, by Vanessa
Before I start, let me just say that I am in no way mocking Prozac or users of said prescription drug.
I don’t know why it takes me so long to GET things. I mean, you would think that after having been a Christian for 22 years, I’d GET more. But, no. I’m still learning. I mean, yes, that’s a good thing — a wonderful thing — but, MAN, it would have made my life a lot easier if I hadn’t been so dense!
I mentioned the house hunt before. I mentioned the need to trust God, trust The Husband, even trust our realtor. Well, this week all of that was tested, big time! Well, and some things were confirmed. It was incredible, really! First, our realtor called me and told me to check my e-mail, there was a house that had just been listed and she thought we would be interested. Going by the descriptions — because no pictures were up yet, it was so new — it was just about as close to perfect as it could be. She made some calls and we were able to see it that night.
When I learned we were going to see the house, I sent out an e-mail to several friends asking them to pray. Not just about the house, but about how I reacted to it and to The Husband.
We walked into the house and my heart pounded so loudly that I was pretty sure it was echoing off of the tile floors. There was not one thing wrong with it. Well, there were chickens in a pen in the backyard, but we figured those would leave when the owners did. But other than that, we only saw a few little tiny minor cosmetic changes that would need to be made. I knew that we were inside a great house. I knew that this was quite possibly the best house we’d laid eyes on yet.
Somehow, though, I did not jump around excitedly saying, “This is it! This is the one!”
Then our realtor started talking to The Husband about what we’d seen prior to this house, what the possibilities were, and then she asked him what he thought. I heard him say the words, “I want to make an offer.”
Somehow I did not faint dead away on the spot. Somehow I did not pee my pants.
How did that happen, you ask? Because people were praying for me.
That sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? Hold on, it gets better…
Just two days later, our realtor called again — the seller was overwhelmed by the number of offers she received on her house in such a short time and took her home off the market.
Did I cry? NO! Did I pout? NO! Did I even complain? NO!
As I’m writing this, I promise you there is a total sense of awe just remembering the utter calm that went through me. Now, it is still possible that the house could be ours (it was already a short sale, the seller sadly may not have much choice)… But even if it doesn’t work out, I’m okay! God has got the perfect house for us out there! And I know it! I feel it!
WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG?!?
I’ve noticed something else though. This peaceful, easy feeling has trickled down to other aspects of my life!
The Husband and I are part of an incredible Sunday school class that is really a lot like a family. We’ve been part of this group for 6 1/2 years. I love these people and love spending time with them. With that being said, for the past 6 1/2 years, whenever there’s been a get-together, I have been an anxiety-ridden mess beforehand! I could never really put my finger on what exactly was stressing me out, but know The Husband got the worst of it before we would get there. Me stressing over what to wear, changing outfits half a dozen times — basically just being antsy and incredibly irritable.
When we would arrive at our destination, I’d have a good time, but I know I was still freaking out. Even when we just had Big Sister, I would want The Husband to be watching her more closely. I wanted to know where she was at all times. Then when Li’l Bit came around, there was an honest to goodness period of post-partum depression, followed by double the crazy self-induced frenzy I put myself through…
Where are the girls? The Husband isn’t watching the girls! Did you eat all your food? Did you make a mess? Go clean up! Put your shoes back on! Do you need to go potty? Come on, let’s go! Do you have everything? Get your shoes on now!
(Now, if you’ve gone through this yourself, help a sister out and let me know I’m not the only one!)
I can’t imagine I was that much fun to be around. That might be why The Husband and I don’t get invited out much on the weekends, ya think?
But I guess last week that peace really got a hold of me. We just went to a social. While I did change my clothes a few times, I did not run around the house like a chicken with my head cut off. There was no arguing, no bickering, no mad dash to get to the car. When we got to our friends’ home, something amazing happened — I totally and completely enjoyed myself! I played with my girls, I talked with my friends, I RELAXED!
This may sound trivial to you, but to me… I am still reeling. I am still basking!
The sad truth is, this isn’t new to me. God has given me this kind of peace in much more intense circumstances — I even wrote about it! And what’s more, the Bible spoke of this in a couple of very commonly used verses!
Do you see that? It’s a cause-and-effect thing! Don’t be anxious about ANYTHING! Let your requests be made known to God with THANKSGIVING! And then, THEN, the peace of God — which at this very moment I would not even attempt to understand — will guard our minds and hearts!
Hel-LO! Do you know how many times I have read those verses? I’m sure I’ve used them in a Bible study or two! And today… Today I finally get it. My mind and heart are at rest, when just a week ago they were in turmoil.
Even though it would have been nice to have gotten this some time ago, I’ll take it now. Thank you, God, I’ll take it now!
Because there’s more to me than two adorable little girls. There’s more to me than diaper changes. I’m more than bottles and sippy cups. More than cribs and high chairs.
I’m a Christian, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend.
I am a wife. A role I treasure, and a role I am always trying to improve upon.
And now, a role I am blogging about. That, and the other roles that make up my life. But mostly, being a wife and what comes with that. Consider yourself warned.
Visit Vanessa at http://muchmorethanmommy.wordpress.com/
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