Silence..., by Deborah Kirby


Between the Old Testament and the New Testament, over 400 years of history took place with no Biblical recordings. During this time period, heaven went silent. Right before this stint in history, God sent Malachi to His people. Malachi rebuked God's people for their neglect of the true worship of God, and put forth a call to repentance. (May we never forget we can't "fake it" before God!) Unfortunately, they did not heed the warning and went into one of the darkest periods for the Jewish people. During those 400 plus years, some truly horrific rulers played out on the map of the world.

Can you imagine? 400 plus YEARS! Whole generations lived and died.

I awoke yesterday at 7:30. I opened my eyes and honestly confessed to Father, "I can't do this today." Meaning, I had no desire to pop out of bed, stir the house into action, and get off to church, as is our normal Sunday fare.

I am one of those types of people that once my eyes open, my brain engages, and I simply cannot lay there or go back to sleep. Amazingly though, yesterday was different. Upon my true confession, I RE-AWOKE at 8:30 with His query, "Go on a walk with Me today?" Dare I say there was anticipation and excitement in His voice! I couldn't wait to bound out of bed!

Yesterday morning, we went for an over two hour nature walk. His presence was so profoundly real. The children delighted in the fellowship of family. We fed some ducks. We looked at the splendor of the trees. We came across some furry friends. We laughed together, talked together, and walked together. I was so aware that there weren't five of us walking -- there were SIX of us walking.

What must it have been like to live in those silent years? I cannot imagine. Truly, He is what life is all about. A church building cannot contain Him and one cannot package Him into rules and regulations. Christianity is to be a WALK with Him, an intimate and personal relationship where we share life with Him. His people were rebuked for their neglect of TRUE worship. One can't truly worship in the absence of real relationship. A relationship so special that one makes space for Him out of the routine, out of one's "plans". A relationship where you drop whatever plans there are at the drop of a hat and RUN to Him when He calls. Have you ever seen a toddler's zeal when his loving daddy arrives home after a day at work? They RUN unrestrained into his arms, THRILLED to the bone! Well, it doesn't stop there, precious one! He says He never leaves us! We can "thrill" every moment of every day with Him.... if you know Him.

Because here's the deal:

Once you truly encounter Him and determine to walk in relationship with Him -- nothing else will do --- nothing else even comes close to satisfying.

Comfortable plans and laid out agendas become droll and lifeless. If we get in our heads the reality that it ONLY makes sense to follow Him because HE, as our Creator, is the only one that knows us and why we are here, we would see that our plans that drive us daily make no sense! Those plans have a false sense of pretense that foolishly say, "I know where I am heading and how to get there." I have been at this for nearly four decades. It is ONLY when I am abiding in Him that I recognize any forward movement to life's real meaning -- being with Him! I spent years being "self-reliant" though I was "saved". I went around in circles -- stupidly looking arrogant and in the "know" when I was profoundly clueless and hopelessly lost as to why He had even saved me. We get so wrapped up in seeking "purpose"--- we forget relationship with Him, in Him, is the purpose. Out of abiding, comes meaning; first because He simply loves us! But then out of the overflow, one is invited to go along with Father --- participating in Kingdom purpose -- because He would much rather share what He is doing than go it alone. Remember fellowship is not just for us! HE longs to be loved by us.

No --- HIS WAY is the only way --- a rich abiding relationship that is secure, unbelievably adventurous, oodles of love ---- RICH -- oh so RICH!

He heard my heart yesterday morning. I wasn't saying, "I don't want You." Quite the opposite! I was declaring my heart's cry, "I want ONLY YOU!" And He showed up!

My prayer for you this day, if you be my siblings in Christ, is that you take the time to pursue Him with your whole heart. There are a whole lot of Christians walking around feeling lost and empty! If they are like I was, it's because they have pretense that they should know how to walk; they should know what to do. I really have come to dislike the word "should". That one word heaps guilt upon my siblings.

I tell you the truth -- all He wants is for you to be real and walk with Him, fellow-shipping together -- having real conversation -- listening to His heart and His truth spoken over your life. A REAL relationship with Him has no choice but to produce fruit and meaning! HE is life and from Him comes life; real life worth living! He can't love you any more than He does at this very second, but you will never fully know this if you walk by your plan, your thoughts, or your will.

If this new to you -- this kind of walk I am describing -- confess it to Him. "I have no idea how to know You, but I really want to. I want to know what it is like for the God of the Universe to 'go for a walk with me'. My heart seems empty and longing for meaning, love, and worth. HELP ME!" Honesty He can work with; pretense and hiding, well, that will just take longer!

I told my sweet sisters in the mentoring group at our church:

The product doesn't make itself. HE makes the product.

All He asks of His children is that we acknowledge the hindrances and sin that are in our life and then walk in relationship with HIM. He'll do the rest. Healing, true love, and purpose are found WITHIN relationship with Father. Apart from the intimate abiding, we will find ourselves owning the stuff and frustrated about what WE should do with it -- all the while shrivelling up inside under self-condemnation, striving to achieve fellowship through man's rules and church's games.

If you haven't started a relationship with Him and you desire to do so, it truly is simple and precious. You must acknowledge you are lost -- full of sin -- and desperately need His salvation.
First comes the understanding Jesus, Son of God, died for you. The Word says that the wages of sin is death --- but the good news is that it also says He became sin for us and died. ("For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.") He paid your price! But it did not stop with His death. The Word says He arose -- conquering sin and the grave. If you come to Him, humble in confession of your sin and humanity, He purifies you -- wraps you in His love -- thus granting you a brand new beginning in Christ. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (If you have any questions -- let me know. No pressure. I am not here to "sell" you Christianity. I am here to introduce you to my Father who is beyond awesome and always looking for lost ones to adopt and restore!)

If you have just done this -- I welcome you into the family of God! The Word says the angels are rejoicing and Father is singing over you! I pray He gives you a deep awareness of the heavenly party that is going on as a result of bowing the knee and accepting His sacrifice that adopted you into His family!

For all my siblings: Be real with Him. Walk with Him. Love on HIM today! He is so trustworthy and so profoundly loving -- a pure love like none other!

Rejoice! --- You don't have to be in silence if you don't want to be!

"Seek the LORD while He may be found;
Call upon Him while He is near."
Isaiah 55:6

I am first and foremost a daughter of the Most High. He has blessed me with three maturing children, ages 12 years old through 7 years old, and a Christian husband who is my best friend. I spend my days home schooling my children, tending the 'home front', exploring God's Word, and lifting up my fellow sisters in Christ. I have a tremendous appetite for the Lord's Word and a desire to know Him to deep depths. As for my fellow sisters in the Lord, I have a passion to see them walking out their destinies in Christ. In all things, Give Him Praise!

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